The Bounty Hunters

Ashley and I were living in a 'less than awesome house', in a 'less than awesome' neighborhood in Pittsburg, Kansas. It was on the corner of Kansas and Locust streets just behind Domino's Pizza. When I say that the neighborhood was 'less than awesome' I mean to say that it was horrible. I was pretty sure that the neighbors on both sides of me were drug dealers, there was a kidnapping down the street, there was an alleged 'crack house' down the street. To top things off my house was directly across the street from where Pitt State students Waylon Boots and Stephen Hays were murdered in an arson fire (although that event didn't happen until about a month later).

One night, about one in the morning, there was a loud knock at the front door. Ashley woke me up and informed me that I needed to get up and see who it was, and find out what they wanted. With the usual groans from having been awakened in the middle of the night, I stumbled out of bed and into the living room. I chose not to turn on the light, if it was some shady character out there, I didn't want him to know anyone was up. I crept towards the window in an attempt to glimpse of whoever was at the door.

We were no stranger to shady characters showing up at the door. There was once a woman who said she would give me half a thirty pack of beer if I gave her and her husband a ride to Walmart. Another guy showed up knocking on the door at six o'clock one morning in the rain. When I didn't answer the door, he continued to the house across the street. At which point he begin to strip off his clothes. When the people answered the door, the guy began to scream and proceeded to run down the street naked.

BANG, BANG BANG! This time the knock was so hard I thought that they might break down the door.  I did not creep, but ran to the door to make sure that the dead bolt was locked. Luckily it was, because before I got there I saw the handle turning as the person on my porch tried to open the door.

"What do you want?" I yelled from my living room.

"Harold Williams, I have a warrant for your arrest!" Screamed a female voice from the porch.

"There's nobody here by that name!"

"Just come out and there won't be any trouble"

"Who are you?"

"Bounty Hunters, and we're here to serve you a warrant, Harold!"

Soon there were flashlights shining in every window of the house. There were people beating on the backdoor demanding us to open it. By this point Ashley and our six month old daughter were awake.

"I'm calling the police" I yelled through the door.

"I'm calling the police, and telling them I have a felon with a warrant that won't cooperate!" challenged the
 Bounty Hunter lady.

"knock yourself out" I thought as I dialed 911.

Things calmed down for about twenty minutes as we waited for the police to show up and sort things out. I on my side of the door, and her on her's. There continued to be lights occasionally shining in the windows but at least the banging on the doors had stopped.

By the time the cops arrived, I had time to reflect on the situation and had become extremely irritated at the entire thing. These people had obviously found bunk information, because as far as I knew there was nobody named Harold living with us. Not to mention that they decided to throw their little party at 1:00a.m.

About the time the cops got to the front steps I went out on the porch to confront these idiots who had disturbed us in the middle of the night.

"Congratulations on waking my baby up by banging on her bedroom window in the middle of the night" I barked at the lady with a badge around her neck that could've been bought in the toy aisle at Walmart.

"This time of night is the best time to catch criminals" she yelled.

"Yes I know, I've seen 'Dog the Bounty Hunter'" I said in my most sarcastic voice (a.k.a. my normal voice)

"Look buddy, these papers say-"

I cut her off. "They better say to get the hell off my porch"

The lady looked over at the officer who simply replied, "I'd be mad too."

The lady began to say something else but there was a loud whistle. At this point out of nowhere, a white ford explorer pulled up in front of the house, and no less than nine people came climbing out of the bushes, from behind the house, and off the roof,..... yes, off the roof. They all piled in and sped away, ending yet another chapter in the book of weird stuff that I have come to regard as normal in my life of random events.